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Before I even found out I was pregnant, I was reading articles about babies and raising children. Ever since I found I was actually pregnant, those articles and posts might have quadrupled. I have read science articles, mommy blogs and watched numerous videos ranging on all different baby related topics. From creating a feeding schedule vs. feeding on demand to vaccinating your baby vs. waiting a year. I have read every blog-post you could possibly read. Not to mention asking numerous questions to moms that came my way. Through these things I have already, 2 months prior to giving birth, made up a game plan of how we will raise our baby girl.
The other day, Austin and I where driving and I was sharing one of the many ideas I have about parenting. I was going on and on about having your baby sleep through the night at 3 months and how that is possible if you follow these certain steps... After I told him about that, I shared my many worries and stresses about raising a baby. That is when he lovingly stopped me and said: ''Honey, you have been so caught up on doing everything right, you've been so worried about all these minor things and I feel like you are missing the point. Yes, these things are good to know and I love that you care so much. But they will not add anything to the character that we get to shape in our little girl. They will not change who she will become, if she will know God or if she is going to be a loving friend. These things will only shape the first part of her life, she will not remember these things nor will they define her. Those things, although yes good to know and good to have as guide lines, are not the most important part of parenting.''
BOOM. Wow, my husband is smart. Wow am I blessed to have someone help me fix my eyes on the important things. He is so right. Yes these things I have been learning and the researching I have been doing will definitely benefit in giving my child structure and maybe even in giving me more rest as a mom. But they are not the most important aspect of parenting. After my kids have grown, I will not care if my baby slept through the night at 3 months.
I will care though, if the adult that I helped raise knows what responsibility is, if she shares love and grace everywhere she goes, if she is kind and if she is knows the good news of Jesus in her heart. I will not care if I messed up in her days of being a baby or even if I am really proud of that time, because those times will not be the most important parts of her life.
Don't get me wrong, I will probably still stick to my plan that I so carefully put together through research. But this new perspective Austin gave me has given me so much peace. It has given me the ability to let go. It has changed my focus and taken of so much of my stress and anxiety. It has already given me grace to know that if I do mess up or are not completely perfect, it's okay.
Details are just details. They are not the whole picture. They can help define the picture, but they are never the core of the picture. They do not make the picture, nor are they the main focus, they are just the minor details. It's nice that they are there if they are there, but let's not make them more significant than the picture itself. There is so much more important things to fixate on. So what is a detail that you have been worried or stressed about, that takes attention away from enjoying the whole picture, I'd love to know in the comments!
Love Sharon