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One day, I'll do a post all about how Austin and I met and all of that stuff. Today is not that day, today I asked my sweet sister in law if she had any ideas for the blog. She said, and I quote: ''You should do one about your transition into our family. Like your expectations, let downs, emotions. Make the readers cry lol!!!'' So that is what this post is: I don't think I'll make you cry. Though I might make myself cry, because this family is one of the most beautiful things the Lord has blessed me with to date. This is going to be a long one, so buckle up.
In my opinion Austin and I have the deepest relationship a couple can have and this is because of our long distance relationship and Gods blessing on our relationship. I say this, because when you are long distance, it is either going to make or break your relationship and for us; by God's grace and will, it made it. Those 2 years apart where for Austin and I to truly get to know each other. To have 3 hours Skype sessions in the middle of the night. To be selfless with our time and to choose each-other over and over even in the really hard times. Because of this, there is nothing more in life that I love more than being with Austin, simply hanging out or watching a movie and I triple enjoy every single date we go on, because I am so aware what it is like to not have that. Due to our long-distance relationship, our marriage is pure enjoyment. I say this, not to brag, but to show you how close Austin and I were/are, but to also paint a picture of the relationship I didn't have with his family.
We weren't around each-other physically and we Skyped in the late or early hours and because of that the relationship I had with his family was basically, non existent.
So when I moved here, I moved into his parents house for the 3 months prior to the wedding. I don't think I had that many specific expectations, but hearing the struggles most people have with their in-laws; I just assumed I'd have mine and that it is just a part of life, might as well get it over with sooner rather than later. Relationships come from 2 sides and my in-laws definitely did their part; they made me feel welcome from day 1. There was never any feeling of me having to ''earn'' a spot in their family, I just was part of it. No questions asked. I remember my coming was a surprise for Austin, he thought I would come a week later than I had told him. So my sister in law and her now fiancee offered to pick me up, their willingness to be apart of the surprise showed me so much of their willingness to have a relationship with me.
I wish there was a lot of things for me to share that I struggled with, or dealt with in the family, but there is not that many instances that I can think of. One of the funny things though, that the Reifels do is decide, before breakfast is even over, what they are going to have for dinner. Whether your around to talk about it, or you just get a text with the message ''what's for dinner?'' you can be sure you'll know what you're going to have for dinner, possibly even before lunch.
The way these decisions are made though, has left me with astonishment at times. We have sad in the room, going back and forth with options. Sometimes when we couldn't figure it out and other topics were talked about for a brief moment; only to come back to the dinner topic. In the beginning I would just sit and watch all of them converse and when it looked like the decision was made, I would to turn to Austin and ask him what the verdict was; because even though they were all on the same page and in agreement I did not have the slightest clue where we were going or what we were going to do. It's been so fun to slowly start understanding ''the lingo'' and to be able to be fully part of the decision making process now. My in-laws, like every family, have their specific spots to eat. They have their traditions and I've come eye to eye with wanting to change it and realized; it's not worth it.
Christmas is a good example of this. You know, I make crepes. Or, Dutch pancakes. The Reifels love whenever I make them, so I thought that it was a good idea to make them Christmas morning. So when I proposed this to Austin, the reaction I got wasn't what I expected..
He looks at me, with the saddest eyes and he goes: ''But we do breakfast burritos on Christmas morning...'' so I go: "well maybe we can do crepes this year.'' To which he replies: ''But.. It's tradition.''
I've had to let things go and I've learned to speak up for things that I find important. That is the beauty of being able to making your own family. You can design it exactly how you want, incorporating old and new traditions.
I can truly say, that one of the biggest reasons transitioning here was not too hard, was because my in-laws made it so darn easy for me to feel at home. They have been the family that was so hard to leave behind in the Netherlands. I don' ever have to feel lonely, I know that they'll always have my back. On top of that they have made my family feel so welcome when they've come to visit. Opening up their house and investing in them. Austin and I are both in agreement that we do not have 2 separate families anymore, we are one big family; there is just an ocean in between.
Love Sharon