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Clutter. Isn't that something we all hate? Personally, I don't even realize I've been living with an excessive amount of clutter until I get so frustrated with myself and everything around me that I have to wonder; ''why do I feel this way? I've eaten healthy, my house is 'clean' and there is no direct conflict happening in any of my relationships.'' On the surface everything looks good, so then why am I so frustrated? The other day I cleaned out my make-up drawer and my closet. Throwing out stuff felt so good, like I was cleaning up my mind. Old make-up that I don't use, old clothes that only tell me I've gained weight. In reality clutter is just stuff that we keep around; not because we have an actual use for it, but because ''you never know when you might need it'' or ''the memories that come with this shirt are so important.'' Forgetting that it is just excessive stuff we don't need, don't use and so has no importance. Over the past couple weeks I've gone on a de-clutter spree and these are the areas that got a good cleaning, it has really helped bring me more peace of mind and I hope it might do the same for you.
De-clutter your Drawers and Clothing Closet
I'll just start with the physical and the most obvious. I think one of the reasons I let my drawers get cluttered is because it is to overwhelming to start all drawers at once. That why I start with one drawer and work my way from there. It will not get better unless you make it better. Even if it is a drawer a week.
If you are like me and everything is of emotional value to you, it is important to keep in mind that it is just ''stuff''. Maybe you can make a scale to help yourself decide on importance. It can go from 1 - 'not important' to 10 -' very important.' Giving an item a number might help you decide what to do with it. Sometimes you can take a picture of the momentum and donate it. Sometimes you have to make the decisions to throw it out and sometimes, you keep it. Emotional value is not a bad thing as long as it's not everything. I literally have to flip a switch and just start going, as if I am not the person connected to these items and someone else is doing the cleaning for me.
De-clutter Social Media
This one is so close to my heart, because social media is something I spend so much (too much) of my time doing. I've learned that everything that goes into my mind is going to stay there, so why not protect what goes into it. When is the last time you went through your list of friends and deleted the people you don't actually talk to? It brings me peace to know that whatever I post is only seen by people I would have a conversation with. Here is a truth: I am a very opinionated person; about the election, about religion, about raising children, about what drink you should drink at Starbucks. I've learned, ''arguing'' about it on Facebook, is almost never beneficial, because in reality people are (almost) never persuaded to switch opinions due to an internet argument. I'm learning that sometimes it is more important to be loving than it is to be right. But when I see a post that I so don't or so do agree with, I will forget I've made the decision to not even go there. So to protect myself from being 'triggered' to comment on a post, I click on the little arrow on the right side of the post and click ''Hide post'' so I don't have to scroll by it again. You can also click ''see less from this person'' to not see every single thing they like or comment on, but still the important stuff. Or you can completely ''unfollow'' someone, without unfriending them. Doing this protects me from so much frustration, but I can still go on this persons page and see all the good stuff they posted AKA photo's and other memories. Because even if we differ in opinions I still want to be friends with them. This way when I leave Facebook, I am protecting my mind from thinking about the 'negative' things or discussions I saw on Facebook. And I have more time to enjoy life and the positive things Facebook brings.
De-clutter your Mind Everything flows from your mind. Like I said in the social media section, it is good for me to protect it. Learning to control what my mind thinks about is harder than learning to protect it from the things that go into it. The sad truth is though, we all carry negative baggage. Sad memories, things that happened during the day. My mind constantly tries to help me think of stupid things I did or ''things I should have said in a certain conversation.'' And the truth is it doesn't do anything to think about it, gives me major anxiety and takes away my peace. Learning to take capture negatice thoughts and replace them might be the most exercise I'll ever do in my life, but it's so worth it. When I catch myself thinking of the negative comments that might arise out of this blog, or the crappy thing I did to my friend when I was 12, I start meditating on things that I know to be truth. Personally, I meditate on Scripture and the things God says rather than people say (message me if you want some I've been meditating on) But, you can also meditate on other truths you know to be true about yourself. Quotes to encourage you to keep going or singing songs in your mind that are beneficial and uplifting. Recently, I've been meditating a lot on something someone told me. I already quoted him earlier, but he said: ''sometimes it is more important to be loving than to be right.'' It has helped me in very specific situations recently and helped me shift my focus. Another quick thing I want to mention real fast is, if your mind is the kind that runs at night. You know, with lists that you need to do the next day. Invest in a notebook, so you can write it down and let it go. I encourage you to find a way to protect your mind from taking you over. YOU are in control over your mind, not the other way around. De-clutter Relationships This does not necessarily mean, that you are in conflict with someone and you are going to talk about it. It just means that you communicate before it get to this point.
For my marriage relationship this is more intense than others, although it's essentially the same. Austin and I took up the habit of having ''business''-meetings. Someone gave us this tip and it's prevented some blow ups. It's a time to ask each-other, ''how am I doing? What can I change?'' and to tell each-other; ''Can you please pick up your socks if I find one more, I will freak.'' Your partner can't smell what goes on in your head, so this time is perfect to let them know. It also gives you a chance to talk about hopes and expectations. In our pre-marriage counseling we were told that most fights are a cause of failed expectations, and we have found this to be true. The ''business''-meeting is a designated time to bring up family issues or frustrations outside the 2 of you. Doing this is also a way of de-cluttering your mind, because your partner can help you downplay or fix the problems in your head. It gets your thoughts all out in the open and out of your head.
In a friendship relation it obviously looks a little different, but is the same idea. If your friend constantly jokes about something you do or say and that hurts you, just gently let her know. She might truly feel like you think it is funny. Communication is the best way to fix a problem before it is there. Fixing problems is the best way to de-clutter your mind and having an uncluttered mind, gives a person peace.